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CommunitySatire · SharperBy Billy Riggs · Oct 26, 2026
Fictional pen-and-ink editorial cartoon poking fun at the listing phrase "Thoughtfully refreshed". It does not depict the listed property.
Generated image. Does not depict the listed property.

Outer Parkside Home Delegates Luxury Department to Pacific Ocean

At an asking price of 998,880, the house supplies fresh paint while the coastline handles the lifestyle copy.

At 2667 46th Avenue, the Pacific Ocean has been assigned substantial promotional duties. The Outer Parkside home is described as “just two blocks from Ocean Beach,” close enough for the listing to recruit morning walks, cool breezes and evening sunsets into its sales presentation. The asking price is 998,880. The sunset receives no separate valuation.

The house itself has a more concrete résumé: built in 1945, with 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, and approximately 1,214 square feet on a 2,996-square-foot lot. Fresh interior and exterior paint, refinished hardwood floors and new carpeting constitute the stated refresh. Tudor-inspired architectural details provide the character. The upper level has two bedrooms; a third bedroom on the first level is offered for guests, a home office or “other living arrangements.” Even the room’s job description keeps its options open. A two-car tandem garage supplies parking and storage without requesting a lifestyle designation.

Near the San Francisco Zoo, parks, restaurants, shopping and Muni, the property has actual location advantages. These are nevertheless escorted by “coastal tranquility,” “urban accessibility” and “distinctive charm.” The presentation resembles a resort brochure whose concierge is a public beach. Buyers can ask about the house; the ocean has already completed its interview.

Translation table

As writtenTranslation
“Thoughtfully refreshed”The specified work includes paint, refinished hardwood floors and new carpeting.
“other living arrangements”The third bedroom’s remaining assignments are left to the buyer.
“an appealing balance of coastal tranquility and urban accessibility”The beach and Muni have been appointed joint lifestyle directors.
“a lifestyle defined by the coast”The neighborhood’s largest geographical feature supplies the closing argument.

Questions to ask

  • What work beyond the listed paint, floor refinishing and new carpeting was included in the refresh, and when was it completed?
  • Can you provide a floor plan showing the first-level bedroom, the bathroom location and the internal connections between levels?
  • What are the tandem garage’s usable dimensions, and how much storage space remains when both parking positions are occupied?