Loft's Kitchen Described as Curated; Guests Expected to Behave Accordingly
An entertainer's dream, with a dining table that may have representation.
- $1,150,000
- 1,820 sq ft
- 2 / 2
- Converted loft
HALLOWAY DOCKS — The kitchen at the Halloway Loft is, according to its listing, “curated,” meaning somebody chose these things on purpose and would like that noted.
Of 32 photographs, sixteen show the home and eleven show close-ups, including what one reader identified as the same brass faucet from three emotionally distinct angles.
The “flexible space” is described as ideal for an office or guest room. Buyers may wish to ask how it is classified in official records, a question that is not an accusation, merely a question.
Example source copy (fictional)
An entertainer's dream with indoor-outdoor living, bespoke millwork, and a curated chef's kitchen. 2 bed, 2 bath, 1,820 sq ft. Flexible space ideal for office or guest room. Sun-drenched and move-in ready.
Translated
Listing Describes The Halloway Loft as 'An Entertainer's Dream'
It is described as “An entertainer's dream.” The dining table has retained a publicist. It is described as “indoor-outdoor living.” There is a door, and it opens. It is described as “bespoke.” Made for someone. That someone is not named.
It is described as “curated.” Somebody chose these things on purpose. It is described as “Flexible space.” The room has not yet committed to an identity. It is described as “Sun-drenched.” At least one window has been mentioned favorably. It is described as “move-in ready.” You may arrive with boxes rather than a contractor.
Euphemisms identified
- “An entertainer's dream”
- The dining table has retained a publicist.
- “indoor-outdoor living”
- There is a door, and it opens.
- “bespoke”
- Made for someone. That someone is not named.
- “curated”
- Somebody chose these things on purpose.
- “Flexible space”
- The room has not yet committed to an identity.
- “Sun-drenched”
- At least one window has been mentioned favorably.
- “move-in ready”
- You may arrive with boxes rather than a contractor.
Sample photo audit
- Home interior14
- Home exterior & grounds2
- Neighborhood & amenities3
- Staging & detail close-ups11
- Floor plans & other2
32 photographs. 16 show the home.
A generous number of close-ups suggests a meaningful relationship with the drawer pulls.
Questions a buyer might ask
- What are the dimensions of the main living and dining areas?
- How large is the outdoor area, and is it private or shared?
- Which custom features convey with the sale?
- Which furnishings and fixtures are included in the sale?
- Is the flexible space counted as a bedroom, and does it have a window and closet?
- Which direction do the main windows face?
- Is there a recent pre-listing inspection?