Area Condo Offers 24 Photos of Places You Could Go Instead
A one-bedroom unit generously shares its gallery with a café, a farmers market, and a park it does not own.
- $612,000
- 710 sq ft
- 1 / 1
- Condominium
LOWER MARROWFIELD — Prospective buyers browsing the listing for Unit 4C were treated this week to a thorough, affectionate, and frankly exhaustive tour of the neighborhood, including eleven photographs of coffee, six of produce, and seven of a park the unit can see from approximately one window.
The condo itself appears in four of the 30 images, a ratio that observers described as “confident.” The listing calls the 710-square-foot home a “cozy urban sanctuary,” a phrase which, translated, means you will be within arm's reach of everything you own, and also of a very good flat white.
Nothing in the gallery suggests anything is wrong with the unit. It simply suggests the photographer had a lovely Saturday.
Example source copy (fictional)
Welcome to your cozy urban sanctuary in the heart of vibrant Lower Marrowfield! Steps away from artisanal coffee, the Saturday farmers market, and Pell Park, this light-filled 1 bed, 1 bath condo offers 710 sq ft of efficient living. A rare opportunity for the discerning buyer. Must-see!
Translated
Listing Describes The Marrowfield, Unit 4C as 'Cozy Urban Sanctuary'
It is described as “cozy urban sanctuary.” Experience the convenience of being within arm's reach of everything you own. It is described as “vibrant.” Other people are nearby and have opinions about music. It is described as “Steps away.” The listing measures distance in footwear.
It is described as “light-filled.” Light has been invited and, per the listing, has accepted. It is described as “efficient living.” Each square foot has been informed that it is essential. It is described as “rare opportunity.” Opportunities of this kind arrive, reportedly, rarely. It is described as “Must-see.” The listing has firm views about your calendar.
Euphemisms identified
- “cozy urban sanctuary”
- Experience the convenience of being within arm's reach of everything you own.
- “vibrant”
- Other people are nearby and have opinions about music.
- “Steps away”
- The listing measures distance in footwear.
- “light-filled”
- Light has been invited and, per the listing, has accepted.
- “efficient living”
- Each square foot has been informed that it is essential.
- “rare opportunity”
- Opportunities of this kind arrive, reportedly, rarely.
- “Must-see”
- The listing has firm views about your calendar.
Sample photo audit
- Home interior3
- Home exterior & grounds1
- Neighborhood & amenities24
- Staging & detail close-ups2
- Floor plans & other0
30 photographs. Four show the home.
Become intimately acquainted with the surrounding area, which you will continue to share with everyone else.
Questions a buyer might ask
- What are the measured dimensions of each room?
- What are noise levels like on weeknights and weekends?
- What is the actual walking distance to the places mentioned?
- Which direction do the main windows face?
- How long has the property been on the market?
- May I see the full seller disclosure and any inspection reports?